May 12, 2013

Thought of the Day: Why Do We Settle For Less?

This weekend I had quite a confronting realisation - I am settling for less than I deserve in some of my friendships. As I mulled over this little epiphany (two bottles of wine worth of mulling), endless examples of people I knew who were settling for less in their jobs, friendships and relationships dawned on me.

In all other areas of our lives, when an object does not serve it's intended purpose, we dispose/return/resell/let it sit in the back of the cupboard never to be seen again. We don't fully immerse ourself into said object and become so consumed by it that we grow to resent it. So why do we let jobs and relationships that don't set our world on fire make us miserable?

When it comes to relationships, the inherent reason must be fear. We fear rejection. We fear being alone. We fear confrontation and hearing about all the 'inadequacies' in our personalities. We are so scared that there won't be another suitable job, another friend, another lover that we just make do and settle with a mundane relationship and a job that is a chore. 

Oh, and did I mention we're lazy? Our generation has grown up having everything always handed to them. If a job with a six-figure salary/mega-babe that ticks all our boxes doesn't just fall into our laps, we will make do with what we have because it is safe and just continue to hope that without actively looking for it, it will come. 

As soon as we settle, we become complacent. When we are complacent, we fail to strive towards improving our lives. When we find ourselves in a rut as a result, we blame and resent ourselves for settling for as long a time as we have.

If you're not happy, leave.

And yeah. 

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